Food is one of my love languages. So forgive me if that’s the metaphor that comes to mind.

When I meet people, I almost instinctively invite them over for dinner. If someone, anyone, comes to our house, to share a meal, they will get our best effort. When planning the dinner we will take into consideration whether or not our guest(s) have small children, whether or not they require gluten free options, or if they are vegetarian, whether or not they are adventurous with spicy foods or if they like to play it safe. Do they prefer cakes or pies? These are all things we as the hosts can control. Whether or not the guests have a good experience, is more or less dependent on them. Not every one appreciates my elk meat Uzbek Plov, and I get that. But it won't be for lack of effort. When people are in my home, we will work very hard to make them comfortable, to be decent and respectful hosts. Anyone who has ever come over to the house will agree that the food will be amazing.

At one point in my life I would have considered these longings to be a better version of myself, to break bread with and get to know and earn trust of a wide variety of my fellow humans, to treat them with respect and consideration, I would have considered these impulses that make me tick, and I would have proudly attributed these aspects of my personality to my lived experiences within the Mormon faith.

However, after seeing the news from the institution yesterday, I am not so sure that my personal efforts to connect with my fellow humans, gay, lesbian or otherwise, to meet them were they are rather than ask them to change and adopt my cultural standards has developed not because of, but in spite of the efforts of the institution to keep us in separate corners.

I cannot accept a policy that so negatively impacts the most colorful and talented and beautiful souls in our faith community. To take them from where they were, on the margins of our wards and stakes, and then to knowingly cut them completely off, would be going back in time. It doesn't work that way. I can't unbreak that bread. I can't unshare those meals. I can't fall out of love with those young people. My heart has forever been changed.

Going forward, I am going to continue to work on the things that are under my control. I am going to continue to build bridges with people from all walks of life. I will continue to take time to listen to peoples' stories, to share a meal with them, to bend down low to look their children in the eye as my equals, these are the things that help me make sense of my humanity. These are the experiences that I live for. This is what makes up my DNA. If being myself makes people around me uncomfortable, then, well, that is more or less up to them.